The Kraken Is My Emergency Contact ~ Ornament
$9.99
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For the Beautifully Disreputable
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Designed by Damien, Founder
Description
In Case of Emergency ~ Call Something Worse
Her ride-or-die has a warrant in one county and a tab in two others. When forms ask who to call, there is a pause, then a name that makes nurses look up. The person listed will arrive fast, loud, and with questions for everyone involved.
- For friendships that alarm hospitals: The duo who turned a quiet dinner into a police report and a lifelong story.
- Buy it for the one who would show up: Bail money, a getaway car, or a very strong opinion about whoever started it.
- Listed with Here Be Monsters: Where the thing you call when it all goes wrong is bigger than the problem.
Pirate Dayz made this round ornament for the tree that secretly wants to be a mast. Pick ceramic at 3 inches or aluminum at 3.6 inches, and it arrives with its hanging string. A wipe with a damp cloth keeps it shipshape for many Decembers.
