The Kraken Is My Emergency Contact ~ Comfort Colors Tee

In Case of Emergency ~ Call Something Worse

Her ride-or-die has a warrant in one county and a tab in two others. When forms ask who to call, there is a pause, then a name that makes nurses look up. The person listed will arrive fast, loud, and with questions for everyone involved.

• For friendships that alarm hospitals: The duo who turned a quiet dinner into a police report and a lifelong story.
• Buy it for the one who would show up: Bail money, a getaway car, or a very strong opinion about whoever started it.
• Listed with Here Be Monsters: Where the thing you call when it all goes wrong is bigger than the problem.