My Financial Advisor Is a Parrot ~ Heavy Blend Hoodie

My Financial Advisor Is a Parrot ~ The Advice Is Buy Buy Buy

The portfolio has one strategy, delivered loudly from a shoulder: anything shiny is a hold, anything with a crinkly wrapper is a strong buy, and selling has never once been mentioned. Returns are mixed. The advisor has not been fired because the advisor is adorable.

• Accountant's Office Joke: For the one who does everyone's taxes and keeps a bird-shaped excuse for their own spending.
• Spender's Honest Disclosure: A gift for whoever consults nobody before checkout and still blames a feathered consultant afterwards.
• Investment Desk of the Loot Line: Advising within X Marks the Loot, where every tip is shiny and none of them are regulated.

Cold spray off the bow, a long night watch, a captain who refuses to call it a day ~ this Gildan Heavy Blend hoodie keeps the crew warm through all of it with soft cotton-poly fleece, a double-lined hood, a roomy front pouch for snacks and treasure maps, and ribbed cuffs that hold the wind out ~ Damien's parrot approves of the hood