My Financial Advisor Is a Parrot ~ Comfort Colors Tee

My Financial Advisor Is a Parrot ~ The Advice Is Buy Buy Buy

The portfolio has one strategy, delivered loudly from a shoulder: anything shiny is a hold, anything with a crinkly wrapper is a strong buy, and selling has never once been mentioned. Returns are mixed. The advisor has not been fired because the advisor is adorable.

• Accountant's Office Joke: For the one who does everyone's taxes and keeps a bird-shaped excuse for their own spending.
• Spender's Honest Disclosure: A gift for whoever consults nobody before checkout and still blames a feathered consultant afterwards.
• Investment Desk of the Loot Line: Advising within X Marks the Loot, where every tip is shiny and none of them are regulated.