Davy Jones' Locker Lost and Found No Refunds ~ Comfort Colors Tee

Sunglasses, Keys, Dignity ~ All Filed Below

Three pairs of sunglasses this summer alone, one phone, a wedding band that came off in the surf, and a flip-flop presumably halfway to Portugal. Everything the ocean takes gets filed in one place, and the counter is closed.

• For the serial loser of things: Buy it for the beach friend who rents snorkels because buying is pointless, the boater with a glovebox of replacement keys, and anyone who has watched a hat sail away.
• Return policy: All items are held indefinitely at the bottom of the sea. Claims are not processed.
• Inventoried by: Part of Here Be Monsters, lower level.